Clara And Me : Adventures in Time - Episode Three - Fin De Siecle
by ClaraAndMeAIT
Summary: Clara gives Ashildr a driving lesson and ends up crashing the TARDIS in a deserted field when they are rescued by a local. They have landed in the pre-industrial revolution past, the TARDIS is broken beyond repair, and there is no way to fix it. When they take refuge in a nearby house, strange events force them to abandon the area. Will they survive?
1. Chapter 1

"You know," Clara smirked as she unceremoniously dropped her end of the brand new white sofa loudly on the floor of the console room, "something has just occurred to me." Clara rubbed her hands as they had deep red marks from the creases of the fabric. She pulled up the sleeves of a chunky dark grey roll neck woollen sweater past her elbows, brushing a sliver of clear plastic sheeting off the right thigh of her jeans and tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her left ear.

"And what is that?" said Ashildr, her tone betraying her annoyance as she was left with the remaining weight of the chair, throwing it to the ground in frustration at having to do the entirety of the hard work.

"I am going to be twenty-nine for the rest of my life," she grinned, "I am never going to be thirty." She ran her hands along the top rear edge of the new white leather sofa they had just heaved in from the diner exterior. After a day sleeping following their excursion to Tricadiamercato, she had awoken to find all manner of new things littered about the time machine, and had been anxious to get unpacking.

"Is that all you care about?" Ashildr asked her, "how old you are?"

"Well," Clara said with a half-sided smile, "it is quite high up of my list of priorities. Probably won't be now as I'm technically not aging-"

"Along with what?" Ashildr enquired, "oh, let me guess, umm, hair…" Ashildr counted on her fingers, "make-up… wine? Is wine one?" She held her pose and raised her right eyebrow.

"Wine is quite specific," Clara corrected her blankly, spreading her hands out in front of her, "I'd probably put that under the umbrella subject of alcohol in general, but please do go on," she said sarcastically.

"So… all alcohol, oh, yes, clothing," Ashildr fired back, counting on her forth finger, "shoes as well? Or is that coming under the umbrella subject of clothes?"

"Shut up," Clara tightly shook her head derisively before calling out loudly, "TARDIS?"

"Yes, Barry," Holo-Clara said as she appeared in a haze of static after a few seconds. She was dressed in a plunging black short dress, six inch stiletto heels and holding a full cocktail glass in her right hand. Her hair was styled in an immaculate high bun. "What can I get you?"

Clara rolled her eyes, blushing. "For god's sake," she said under her breath, looking away to leave the hologram behind her, "did you change that?" She indicated with her thumb, folding her arms in contempt.

"Yes," Ashildr smirked. "I did have three hundred odd years to look through the various settings."

"When the hell did you discover the setting to make me look like something from 'The Only Way Is Essex'?" Clara risked another glance backwards, unable to stop the feeling of shame at the impossibly short skirt as Holo-Clara took a small sip of the bright pink drink. "No," she groaned, "I did not imagine that. Jesus, Me! And… Barry? Really?"

"Think of it as my pet name for you," Ashildr grinned.

"Excuse me! I am not your pet!" Clara interjected, feeling an anger swell through her system. "I think you'll find I'm the one in charge here!"

Ashildr remained silent, her eyes gleaming, enjoying watching Clara begin to stew inside.

"I have also never looked like that in my life," Clara observed after a few seconds, head tilted down slightly, knowing this was stretching the truth a little. She allowed herself the smallest smile, recalling a time she had attended a hen do when she had worn something bordering on completely inappropriate and almost identical. She shook her head to remove the nostalgic thoughts.

"Would you like to see the beach version?" Ashildr asked, tilting her head, "I found a rather excellent one with a grass skirt-"

"Don't you even dare," Clara immediately snapped back, calling out quickly, "TARDIS?"

"Yes, Barry," Holo-Clara repeated in an identical tone to earlier. "How may I assist you?" She raised her glass in a curt toast. "Perhaps a refreshing beverage?"

"As the primary user, I would you like to revert back to the original settings," Clara said matter-of-factly. "No miniskirts, no stilettos, no hula-ing…" she paused for a moment, "the drinks thing? That you can keep, I kind of like that, but I am not willing to see myself like a Barbie doll, thank you."

"My records currently show," Holo-Clara said, sashaying her way around the central console to face her real life double, "that you are the secondary user."

"What are you talking about?" Clara replied, annoyed, trying to avert her eyes, blushing at the shortness of the skirt, "of course I am the primary user," she held her right hand against her chest. "I am the one who took you from Gallifrey, I am the one who went through the set-up procedure yesterday and I am quite clearly," she paused, looking sideways at Ashildr, "the Doctor of this arrangement, whatever this arrangement is, what more do I need to tell you, I am the primary user." She crossed her arms and pursed her lips, letting the last word ring in the air, "me!"

"That is correct," Holo-Clara nodded, her lower body stationary, "Me is the primary user. The console has not registered your presence for the last month."

"The last month?" Ashildr said loudly, "try three hundred years!"

"This console is set by default to Gallifreyan time," Holo-Clara replied in a measured tone, standing still, only blinking, "no other time zone was specified during the installation period."

"You are so annoying," Ashildr fired back, staring Holo-Clara out, arms folded and left eyebrow raised.

"You are so annoying," Holo-Clara mirrored, emphasising the word 'you', imitating her posture, moving to stand directly opposite, less than three feet away.

Clara watched, wanting to say something but finding herself unable to, observing Me and her hologram eyeballing each other. She held her right index knuckle to her chin.

Ashildr shook her head, closed her eyes briefly and spun backwards on her heel. "I've been having this problem lately," she explained, leaning sideways onto the white central console, "she's very argumentative. Must take after you," Ashildr's eyes glinted, "maybe I should reset her?"

Clara aimed a narrow stare at Ashildr, finding her hologram echoing the same pose, they shared a knowing look between them before aiming their gazes back.

"Oh no," Ashildr said half to herself, moving away, "no, I cannot deal with two of you doing this."

"Oh really?" Clara smirked. "I wonder how argumentative the real me will get. She's just a visual representation after all-"

"TARDIS," Ashildr announced to the ceiling, swallowing once, "please change your settings."

"There you go," Clara nodded. "And?"

"And what?" Ashildr creased her eyebrows, unsure what Clara was asking for.

"Restore me as the primary user," Clara said at a normal tone, not allowing a triumphant smile to pass her face.

"And restore Captain Oswald here," Ashildr betrayed a wry tone, "as the primary user. It's quite clear we're not going to get anywhere until she is back being," she put on a childish voice, "The Doctor."

Holo-Clara froze still, only her eyes and lips moving. "Update in progress." She dissolved into a haze of grey and white crackly static, to reappear ten seconds later dressed in the familiar flight attendant uniform Clara had seen the previous day.

"So now other me is vaguely decent," Clara announced, returning to the white sofa, pushing it loudly across the floor with a dull echoing squeak to put it into a favourable position, "where were we?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Couldn't you have invested in furniture that was a little less… heavy?" Clara groaned as she strained holding the weight of the second sofa. "If you told me this was a bag of rocks disguised as a sofa I would believe you, seriously!"

"What can I say," Ashildr dropped her end on purpose, half due to the weight and half in retaliation at Clara for earlier, "I have expensive taste."

"I can see that," Clara collapsed near the floor, aiming a narrow glare at Ashildr as she strained to push the chair into an acceptable position. She moved round to sit loudly on the plastic sheeting covering the seat as Ashildr disappeared out into the diner. "I guess we're going for the whole minimalistic look in here, then?" she sighed, sitting backwards and resting the base of her head on the upper edge of the dusty plastic after pulling off the chunky grey jumper and throwing it to the side. She straightened her white t-shirt she was wearing underneath.

"At the risk of it turning into what I saw when we went to your, what was it you called it… luxury apartment?" Ashildr called out from inside the diner area, wheeling in the next item of furniture.

"What are you saying about my flat?" Clara remained still, moving her eyes to the side and creasing her features, aware of a vague dull squeaking flooding the space behind her. "What's that noise?" she sat up quickly, twisting around in the seat, "don't tell me you've let mice in over the last three hundred-" Clara stopped suddenly as she identified the source of the noise. She went to say something but stopped herself, hoping the confused look plastered on her face would be enough to express what she was thinking.

"I thought you might appreciate a couple of these," Ashildr offered, rolling a large whiteboard into the space, "to put all of your rules on."

"My rules?"

"You know," Ashildr said, clearly goading Clara, concentrating on moving the board, "don't wander off, expect the unexpected, all of those."

Clara inhaled loudly through her nose, crossing her arms, wanting to retaliate but biting her tongue.

"The Doctor had his chalk boards," Ashildr explained, "so I thought you, as the best teacher in the 21st Century, would appreciate them."

"How do you know about the Doctor's chalk boards?" Clara creased her eyebrows, standing up. "They are in his other TARDIS." She paused for a moment, "did you go in his TARDIS during one of your," she mimicked Ashildr as best she could, "adventures?"

"Actually," Ashildr replied with glinting eyes, preparing herself for Clara's reaction. "I went to a few of his lectures."

"His what?" Clara laughed once. "Lectures? He didn't give lectures. It was probably one of his previous incarnations."

"Definitely your Doctor," Ashildr smirked, stamping her black leather boot harshly down onto one of the wheels to secure the board in a suitable position. "What do you think?" she asked, standing back to admire the new addition. She pushed up the sleeves on her maroon shirt where they had fallen down.

"I think, you're wrong," Clara paced around the central console, "I think you might be getting confused."

"I don't think so. I forget things, but I'm very rarely wrong. I even got you some pens-"

"He was the caretaker at my school for a couple of weeks," Clara twisted a small dial on the console to distract herself, "is that what you mean?"

"What's a caretaker?" Ashildr asked.

"It's a person who cleans and fixes things in a school," Clara explained. "Not a teacher."

"No," Ashildr shook her head tightly, walking away from Clara, knowing enough about her now to know what was going to follow would be an interrogation. "He was stood on some sort of platform with a chalk board, people around him, talking about complicated maths. Or Shakespeare. Sometimes Beethoven."

"When?" Clara faced her, hands on hips.

"That I don't know," Ashildr lied.

"Where?" Clara fired.

"That I also don't know."

"Well," Clara reflected sarcastically, "that is just great." Clara thought for a moment, before letting a wide smile creep over her face. She moved around the console to a small screen, tapping several buttons.

"What are you doing?" Ashildr wandered in her direction.

"I'm checking out your information," Clara didn't react, continuing to manipulate the controls. "If the Doctor was giving lectures I should be able to find him-"

"Stop!" Ashildr interrupted her, suddenly realising she had made a big mistake in telling Clara about the lectures. "Don't look at it! Stop!"

"Why?" Clara turned her head to look directly at Ashildr, hovering her right hand over the search button. "Hang on," she stood up straight, pointing her right hand at Ashildr's face, "you do know! Are you lying to me?"

"No," Ashildr lied. "I just don't think it is a good idea." She walked backwards away from Clara around the console. "I'm trying to protect-"

"Why? I don't need protecting. Why are you lying to me?" Clara paced loudly forwards, trying to keep Ashildr's avoiding gaze. "That's three whys, if I get to five I can't guarantee what will happen."

Ashildr lowered her head, knowing she was going to tell Clara something she didn't want to hear. "He taught at a university for almost a century-"

"Right," Clara said angrily, arms folded, "a bit out of character for him, but say I believe you. Go on."

"His lectures were world famous," Ashildr continued.

"Obviously so world famous I didn't know about them," Clara observed pointedly, "but please do go on."

Ashildr paused to take a breath. "He didn't just stop everything because he forgot you," Ashildr said, turning around to face away from Clara, "you must know that."

Clara reflected for a moment. "Well," she paused, "yes, of course… but-"

"If you press that button," Ashildr indicated the console, "you are going to find out what he does… after you."

"After me?" Clara repeated surprised.

"Like other people he travelled with," Ashildr carried on, "his other faces, travelling companions… wives… a couple of husbands, children... If you press that button, you will find all of that out."

Clara could feel a small tear welling up in her eye. "Wives? Wives, as the plural of wife? He got married again?"

"Yes," Ashildr nodded. "I think I went to one of his weddings."

"And, husbands?"

"He is a she a few times," Ashildr explained, letting out a small laugh.

"The Doctor becomes a woman?" Clara laughed. "I do not believe that."

"Believe it. If he had spontaneously changed into a woman, would you have still travelled with her?"

"I- I- I…" Clara stammered, trying to think of a reply, wiping away the tear she was trying to fight off with her right index finger. "Yes, I guess I would have."

"You guess?" Ashildr smiled, knowing Clara was making the point for her, "or you know?"

"Would have depended what he, or rather… she looked like," Clara thought out loud.

"Only if she was Jane Austen?" Ashildr said playfully, raising her eyebrows.

"How do you know about-" Clara started, blushing, before remembering she had retrieved the book from her flat when they visited two days ago. "Oh, shut up," she said with the smallest grin.

"He doesn't spontaneously change into Jane Austen," Ashildr said deadpan, "I will give you that."

"Shame," Clara laughed once, returning to the screen on the console, inwardly debating over whether to complete the search.

"What I'm trying to say to you," Ashildr asserted, moving to stand on Clara's left, "is you haven't forgotten him. Remember him as you knew him, not what he becomes afterwards. You might not like it."

Clara aimed a glance at Ashildr on her left, still holding her hand over the button. She bit her lip as she tried to reason with herself. "But I could go and-"

"No, you couldn't," Ashildr talked over, shaking her head, "you can't go and do anything. You know that."

Clara groaned loudly, turning to face away from the console. She walked to the outer rail and leaned forward against it, knowing Ashildr was right.

"Let's agree now," Ashildr remained where she was, "no searching, no interfering, just… adventures."

"Adventures?" Clara repeated. "Is that what we're doing?"

"I've enjoyed the last two," Ashildr reflected. "Certainly beats sitting alone watching the universe die."

"Well, I'm still pretty annoyed you got shopping centre zombies on your first go," Clara sighed resignedly, returning to the console.

"Until I find something or someone else more worthy of my time and attention," Ashildr said blankly, "I guess you're stuck with me. Also… I don't know how to use this thing yet. Holo-Clara refused to show me, and, as you know, the manual is next to useless."

"I'm not sure I trust you enough yet to give you free reign," Clara said slowly. "You have already killed me once."

"I thought we had moved past this?" Ashildr moaned. "I just spent three hundred years saving you."

"OK," Clara nodded to herself, shutting down the console in front of her. "I'm choosing to be ignorant."

"Probably for the best," Ashildr agreed, relieved she had saved Clara from finding out about the Doctor's future. "And I'll try to remember not to mention it again."

"Deal," Clara accepted. "So," she walked away, "these rules eh? Won't write themselves, will they?"


	3. Chapter 3

Clara approached the whiteboard and picked up a black pen from the ledge below in the same way she had done hundreds of times at school. She put the lid of the pen on top of the main body of the marker and tapped it gently against her lips, pausing before standing on tip-toes to write the word 'RULES' in large block capitals at the top of the board.

Ashildr rolled her eyes and collapsed onto the nearest sofa, lying back on it and resting on her arms folded up behind her head.

Clara sensed the discomfort behind her, smirking to herself as she made the pen squeak against the board at a loud high pitched frequency which she knew would get Ashildr's attention. She had used this tactic to silence many of her rowdier classes over the past couple of years.

Ashildr winced, covering her ears with her hands. "What?"

"So," Clara announced to the whole room as if addressing a group of one hundred and not just Ashildr as she finished underlining the word with a further eardrum piercing screech, "what have we learnt in the last two days?"

"Three hundred years," Ashildr replied casually under her breath, resettling herself, putting her feet up onto the seat.

Clara tried to remember the rules they had identified in the last two days. "Number one," she spoke out loud whilst writing '1.' She rubbed out a stray pen mark with her index finger.

"I don't remember."

Clara tapped the top of the pen against her lips before remembering what she had said the day before. "Oh yes," she announced, "the first rule was about holding on when I pulled the lever, wasn't it? When you ended up over there," she said without moving, "that was hilarious."

"It was," Ashildr mirrored her tone, "painful."

"Nope," Clara tilted her head and laughed, "however you describe it, still hilarious. Also, you're immortal, you'll live. Also, get your dirty feet off our new white sofas," Clara said to the white board.

"How do you know that?" Ashildr said, surprised as she had not seen Clara turn around.

"Teacher skills," Clara smirked to herself. "You now have two options, sit normally or take your shoes off. White is impossible to keep- "

"Expect the unexpected," Ashildr said in a patronising voice, righting herself to place her feet on the floor, "that sounds like something you would say."

"Well remembered," Clara said unconsciously in her teacher's voice, writing the words.

"Wasn't there something about not wandering off," Ashildr said with a wry tone as a reply. "Like you did in the shopping centre which meant I had to go back and build the whole thing just to get you out?"

"Not quite the way I remembered it," Clara reflected.

"Exactly the way I remember it," Ashildr continued, "you walked off and I couldn't find you."

"You were being annoying and I needed some space," Clara trailed off, shaking her head, "regardless. It's a rule. Get a map, that was another one, wasn't it?"

"If you say so," Ashildr said, beginning to tire of this activity. She kicked off her black boots and reclined on the sofa again. "Wake me up when you're done." She closed her eyes.

"What was the one from yesterday?" Clara picked up the rectangular black and grey eraser in her right hand, squinting as she aimed it towards Ashildr, completely oblivious to her now.

"Hmm?" Ashildr acknowledged.

"It was an important one," Clara said loudly, tossing the board eraser with a perfect trajectory to land squarely and softly on Ashildr's stomach.

Ashildr opened her eyes in fright, almost jumping a full foot off the surface of the sofa.

"So I suggest you listen," Clara smiled, doing a silent fist pump to herself at her accuracy.

Ashildr recovered herself to sit upright, scowling in Clara's direction, casually picking up the missile and launching it immediately back. The eraser hit the dead centre of the whiteboard with pinpoint accuracy, three inches from Clara's face with enough force to shake the metal frame and knock the board backwards a foot. She stared at Clara and raised her eyebrows as it clattered down to the floor.

Clara froze, having almost had the eraser embedded into her skull. "Wow," she nodded, "OK then. That is a new one on me and I teach at Coal Hill. That is impressive."

Ashildr maintained her position, silently folding her arms as the hint of a smirk passed her features.

"Rule number five was about not going back on our timelines," Clara continued quietly, still a little shaken by the force propelled back at her, writing silently.

Ashildr stood up, arms still folded, moving to observe Clara's neat block capital handwriting a few feet from the board. Clara stood next to her admiring her handiwork.

RULES

1\. WHEN THE LEVER MOVES, HOLD ON  
2\. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED  
3\. NO WANDERING OFF  
4\. GET A MAP  
5\. NO GOING BACK ON OUR TIMESTREAMS

"I think you've missed something," Ashildr said. "May I?"

Clara looked at her suspiciously before proffering the black marker to her left.

"Thank you," Ashildr said curtly, taking the pen in her left hand. She stepped pointedly up to the board, glancing back at Clara. She wrote '6.' in similar lettering.

Clara watched as Ashildr wrote in an almost illegible spider-like scrawl.

6\. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME

Ashildr replaced the lid on the pen, raising an eyebrow back at Clara. "I think we are finished now." She placed the pen on the ledge.

"Firstly, your handwriting is appalling," Clara observed, arms folded, nodding towards the board, "I can barely even read that and secondly..." she paused, lowering her head slightly, "you do raise a good point, although the same goes for me. As in me," she pointed at herself, "not the ridiculous name you've given yourself."

"If you say so," Ashildr said flippantly.

"What's the other board for?" Clara asked before realising there were, in fact, two items held on by magnets. "Hang on..." she moved closer to inspect it.

"I thought we could use that for mementoes of our adventures," Ashildr said to Clara's back impatiently.

Clara saw the crumpled map of the identified crane locations hanging on the left-hand side of the board, alongside the photo of her standing in front of the green door with her name on it from Tricadiamercato.

"I'd forgotten about that picture," Clara laughed to herself.

"I've got my journals," Ashildr said, indicating the doorway out to the TARDIS corridor. "I figured we needed to keep something a bit more visual."

"That is..." Clara paused, "a surprisingly good idea. I like it."

"What is going to be the next thing on there?" Ashildr pondered.

"Well, we've just done the near future," Clara walked to the central console and began pacing around it, "so how about we go into the past."

"What past?" Ashildr asked. "Past for me is the entire history of the universe. I can't even remember most of it to tell you where to go."

"You remember Kodey said that we should go to a beach as our next stop?" Clara twisted a knob on the console.

"You're taking me on holiday?"

"I'm not taking you on holiday," Clara said directly at her, pushing several random buttons which she knew would make no difference to their current location for effect. "It's a bit soon between us for a mini-break."

"Three hundred years isn't soon enough?" Ashildr laughed once.

"People already think we are some sort of," Clara paused, "space girlfriends. If we start going on holidays together then they really will start talking." She let out a small laugh.

Ashildr looked around the space. "Who's they?"

"A close relative to You probably," Clara said sarcastically.

Ashildr shook her head curtly, pretending to find it funny.

"Go and get changed," Clara shouted suddenly, turning on her heel as she walked away with the intent on heading to her room.

"Why?" Ashildr asked, following her down marginally down the corridor.

Clara continued away from Ashildr, not indulging her with an answer.

"OK, can you at least tell me what am I dressing for?" Ashildr shouted as she jogged to catch up.

"Weather, hot, possibly very hot," Clara said whilst walking, noticing Ashildr draw almost level, "climate, beachy, lots of sand, lots of sun hopefully. And sun cream." She stopped suddenly in the middle of the corridor. "Do you get sunburn?"

"Sunburn?" Ashildr asked.

"It's when your skin burns from the sun," she said as if explaining to a small child.

"I don't think so," Ashildr creased her eyebrows.

"Do I get sunburn?"

"Judging by the last two occasions when you've ended up practically dead each time then, yes, I expect," Ashildr answered.

"Hmmm," Clara pondered for a second before setting off again.

"So where are we going?" Ashildr asked in pursuit, remaining outside the entrance to her room, not opening it.

"Ancient Eygpt," Clara grinned to herself. "Let's go and find out," she paused in the doorway for effect, turning to face Ashildr with a grin on her face, "what's actually inside Tutankhamun's tomb."


	4. Chapter 4

Clara closed the door behind her and leant back against it, unable to contain a large grin as her body bubbled with excitement as she realised how much she had missed this feeling. She practically skipped to the dressing room and allowed her eyes to examine the contents, pondering what to wear, leafing through the clothes hung up on the hangers one by one.

"No," she said to herself, eyeing several short dresses, "no, you will not do well with the sand. Maybe next time."

After a few minutes she settled on an ensemble that would be perfect for the outing she had proposed, retrieving some washed out brown shorts, a white vest top, a cropped green cotton long sleeve shirt and a pair of brown suede walking boots. She threw the items onto a small turquoise fabric stool behind her one by one, before picking up the collection of items, smiling to herself and disappearing to get changed.

"Oh yeah," Clara said out loud as she emerged ten minutes later, admiring her reflection in a full-length mirror in between two rails of clothes. She rolled up her right sleeve three times, her left just twice, internally debating what looked better, eventually settling on the longer length with a satisfied nod. She styled her hair into a high ponytail, applied some basic makeup and then paused, putting a finger to her lips.

"I need... I need.." she began searching through a large box of accessories, fishing out a small grey canvas shoulder bag that suited her attire. "Aha! Gotcha."

Clara swept up the TARDIS keys and her mobile phone from a table in the lounge area, dropping them into the bag and walking excitedly out into the corridor.

Ashildr was nowhere to be seen, leaving the cold, white corridor deserted and silent.

Clara approached the grey metal door to Ashildr's room, it remained shut, not allowing her access.

"Me!" Clara said loudly directly at the door, "I'm ready whenever you are!" She sighed to herself, presuming Ashildr wanted to retain a modicum of privacy and pointed herself in the direction of the console room.

She threw her small bag onto the nearest white sofa to her left, wandering towards the whiteboard with the rules, picking up the pen with the intent of rewriting Ashildr's illegible scrawl. She collected the displaced eraser from the floor, stood up and was about to rub it out completely when she was momentarily distracted by a faint rustling noise in the background. After a brief visual inspection she ignored it as the unseen inner workings of the TARDIS and returned to neatening up the whiteboard. She was about when the tapping, rustling, scraping noise returned but much louder.

"What is that?" Clara said quietly, deciding to go in search of the source, initially inspecting the lower part of the central console. She tried to open a metal flat underneath unsuccessfully.

"Will this do?" Ashildr announced to Clara's back as she ascended the ramp.

"I'm sure whatever you're wearing is-" Clara started nonchalantly before she whirled around to look, feeling her face contort into an expression she hadn't been expecting.

Ashildr had shoulder-length hair, straightened to within an inch of its life with a severe fringe cut in, it also appeared to be a much darker shade than she had noticed previously, to the point of it being onyx black. There were several metallic beaded braids running through, which swung wildly as Ashildr flicked her hair. Her eyebrows were accented in the same shade as her hair, the makeup around her eyes was thickly applied and there was an exorbitant amount of blusher used. She was wearing several large flat round gold necklaces and an intricately embroidered, shimmering jewel encrusted knee length tabard which glinted like a kaleidoscope under the harsh lights of the TARDIS. A brown belt cinched in the material around Ashildr's waist, exposing a white dress underneath. She wore flat brown gladiator sandals on her feet. The ensemble rustled and clattered loudly as she moved around.

"What the hell have you come as?" Clara sniggered as she looked Ashildr up and down. Her snigger developed into a full-on belly laugh as she took in Ashildr's appearance. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she forced out between loud inhalations, supporting herself on the central console, her jaw hanging open as she tried to figure out an appropriate response. "It's just..." she faced away, stifling a wide grin, "I really was not expecting... this."

"What?" Ashildr said, glancing down her body, unable to see what was wrong. "I asked Holo-Clara what to wear if I was going to Tutankhamun's tomb and this is what she advised me."

"I think... she was having a laugh," Clara grinned widely, approaching Ashildr and picking up a flap on of heavy gold fabric from the shoulder of the tunic in her hands. It felt three times the weight it looked, the sparkling jewels almost temporarily blinding her. "Maybe she is more like me than I give her credit for. I was thinking more 1920s explorer," she pointed at herself, "not," she sniggered to herself, letting go of the material and letting it drop towards the floor, "Tutankhamun's actual wife. If we were going to a fancy dress party you'd win top marks for effort because it's very convincing, but..." Clara smirked, "wow."

"Well, I like it," Ashildr said triumphantly, settling a copious amount of solid metal bangles on her left wrist with a metallic clank.

"Well, I am not going out with you dressed like that," Clara said out loud, "what use is that going to be if we need to run or be stealthy? I could hear you approaching a hundred metres away!"

"At least I'll fit in," Ashildr replied, "and I don't look like some sort of..." she paused trying to find the right word, "umm..."

"Archaeologist?" Clara interjected.

"No," Ashildr replied curtly. "More of a-"

"Sexy professor?" Clara allowed a smirk to pass her lips. "Thank you."

"Eurgh, no," Ashildr shook her head. "Definitely not that."

"Let a girl down gently why don't you?" Clara said deadpan. "An hour ago we were planning a mini-break, just saying-"

"I was thinking-"

"An extra from 'The Mummy'?" Clara offered. "I've always wanted to look like Rachel Weisz." She flicked her hair slightly, "her and Brendan Fraser in the desert on that camel," she sighed wistfully, "so romantic."

"What? Who?" Ashildr said quickly, "I don't understand any of those words. I want to say..."

"Amazing?"

"No."

"Badass?" Clara's eyes glinted.

"Badass? What does that even mean?" Ashildr creased her eyebrows.

"Angelina Jolie?" Clara offered. "Do I look like Angelina Jolie to you?"

"Again, I have no idea who that is. I can't think... is there a word that describes," Ashildr interrupted impatiently, waving her hand in Clara's direction, "a lot of bare flesh being on display?"

Clara blushed, taken off-guard. "What?"

"Harlot?" Ashildr said, "I'm sure that is a word. Is that appropriate?"

"A harlot?" Clara repeated at twice the volume, putting her hands on her hips.

"Is that not the right word?" Ashildr tilted her head with a slight smile. "Doesn't that mean-"

"I know exactly what it means," Clara snapped loudly in retaliation, pointing at herself, "English teacher. And, no," she paused, feeling a wave of anger possess her, "that is not the right word. We are going somewhere hot, minimal clothing helps to keep you cool and also increases the chances of getting a tan, but," she paused for breath, distracting herself with some of the controls on the TARDIS, "if you are OK with continuing to look positively anaemic then, by all means, cover yourself up."

Ashildr stood with her arms folded, saying nothing for at least ten seconds, eventually raising both her eyebrows an inch in frustration.

"Trust me, I really think you need to get changed," Clara said. "Use what I am wearing as a frame of reference. Slightly sexy, hot weather, tomb raiding badass."

"Got it," Ashildr nodded to herself, adding sarcastically under her breath, "dress like a harlot."

Clara inhaled loudly to herself, wanting to pick up something and throw it at Ashildr but not having anything to hand. "Go," she paced over and shoved Ashildr in the direction of the ramp.

Ashildr caved in, realising, but not willing to vocalise, that Clara was, in fact, correct when her tunic got caught on the metal rail enclosing the ramp as she walked past. She desperately hoped Clara hadn't noticed she had almost been strangled by her own clothing as she unhooked herself.

Clara hummed the chorus of 'Walk Like An Eygptian' to herself as Ashildr disappeared. She began researching when exactly Tutankhamun's tomb had been sealed, singing out loud without thinking, "oh eh oh," and then mumbling through the rest as she didn't know the actual words.

"Did you say something?" Ashildr turned around with a loud clatter as she retraced her steps back to the doorway.

"Nope," Clara said, facing away, a wide grin on her face. "It was the Bangles."

"Oh yes, probably," Ashildr creased her eyebrows inspecting her wrists, swooshing off noisily along the corridor to her room.


	5. Chapter 5

Ashildr padded back up the ramp twenty minutes later wearing skinny faded green trousers, a slightly oversize pastel blue sleeveless shirt and holding a pair of desert boots swinging by the laces. Her hair was tied up in a low loose sideways ponytail and she had a pair of round reading glasses on the bridge of the nose.

"Oh yes," Clara nodded to herself, "this is immediately much... much better." Ashildr's make up had been removed, leaving her looking like an old-fashioned librarian.

"I feel very..." Ashildr glanced down herself, "uncomfortable." She dropped the boots on the floor in front of the sofa with Clara's bag on it with a loud thump.

"But now you look ready for adventure," Clara smiled, making her way over, "not like you are trying to win best costume at a fancy dress party." She stopped a few paces away from Ashildr, observing her appearance, raising her right index finger to her lips, tapping it gently as she titled her head to the left.

"What?" Ashildr said suspiciously. "What now?"

"Can I just make one very minor amendment?" Clara said with a wry smile.

"I am not changing again," Ashildr shook her head, annoyed. "You told me to dress for Ancient Eygpt, so I dressed for Ancient Eygpt. You said that was wrong so her I am. I am not some sort of..." she paused, trying to finding a suitable word, "a doll for you to dress up!"

"A doll?" Clara laughed in retaliation, folding her arms. "For god's sake-"

"I am not some sort of minion you can order around, Clara," Ashildr said firmly with a small amount of venom behind it.

"Didn't imply that you were," Clara replied curtly. "All I was going to say was ditch the Harry Potter style glasses," Clara pointed at the eyewear, "because they don't really go and as I've not seen you wearing glasses ever they seem a bit unnecessary, but if that means I'm turning you into my personal Barbie and making you a minion then I guess you're right." She left a silence hanging in the air.

"Oh," Ashildr said quietly, realising she had misread the situation somewhat, lowering her head to remove the glasses sheepishly.

"Yes, oh," Clara said patronisingly, returning to the central console to investigate the exact year she should take the TARDIS to. "I thought we could go and discover Tutankhamun's tomb before the bloke that did... you know umm, that guy..." she thought for a moment, clicking her fingers and pointing when she had the answer, "Howard Carter, didn't actually say we were going to Ancient Eygpt."

Ashildr bit her tongue, wanting to correct her but staying silent. She sat down on the vacant white leather sofa and put her left beige desert boot on, pulling the thick round brown laces tight and hooking the excess around the protruding eyelets, ignoring Clara to concentrate.

"I thought we could swoop in there before Howard Carter gets there somewhere nineteen, I want to say twenty-one-" Clara searched for the exact date in the TARDIS console, finding it easily, "no, three!" she exclaimed to herself. "Hang on, it was opened in 1923, but was discovered in 1922! Gotcha!"

"So what's in this tomb?" Ashildr asked, trying to figure out how to knot the shoelaces. "Tutor-calm-moon?"

"Tutankhamun," Clara corrected her. "Oh, only like, more treasure than you could possibly imagine," Clara mused, "rooms after rooms after rooms of jewels and gold and treasure and priceless artefacts and-"

Ashildr's ears pricked up. "Did you say gold?"

"Oh yeah," Clara said, eyes glinting, facing away from Ashildr.

"And treasure?"

"Yes."

"And jewels?" Ashildr's interested was piqued.

"Lots."

"I am liking the sound of this," Ashildr reflected, picking up the right boot.

Clara laughed. "Funnily enough, I thought you might."

"So we are going to raid the tomb?" Ashildr raised an eyebrow, holding the shoe up.

"That is the plan," Clara said in a measured tone, working out how to set the controls for the year 1920 at the coordinates where the Tomb was found.

"So we'll be tomb raiders?" Ashildr allowed a wide grin to spread across her face.

Clara tilted her head in contemplation. "I guess so. And," she indicated herself, "and we, well maybe not you as you seem to have gone down more the twentieth-century dusty librarian chic route, but at least I can do it style."

Ashildr secured her right boot, tying the lace with a double knot. "If you say so."

"There's a really really famous person where I come from called Lara Croft," Clara mused, smoothing out a wrinkle in her mid-thigh length light brown shorts, "ever heard of her?"

"I don't think so," Ashildr said creasing her eyebrows. "What did she do?"

"They caller her," Clara stifled a laugh waving her right hand once in front of her face, "'The Tomb Raider', archaeologist, very famous, film star, very popular amongst teenage men... I figured if we are going to go and raid some tombs then I may as well look like Tomb Raider. I went as her to a fancy dress party once, you know," Clara said, reminiscing about the event. "If I say so myself, I looked amazing."

"I'm sure you thought you did," Ashildr said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Planning to meet many teenage men out in the desert?"

Clara didn't acknowledge her. "The last time I wore this, the Doctor backchatted some high priest or other and I ended up tied up to a ceremonial pillar in the middle of a desert for three days almost eaten by sand-piranhas," Clara said almost triumphantly. "I had to do several things I am not proud of to get out of those chains, let me tell you." She winked at Ashildr cheekily.

"Please don't tell me," Ashildr shuddered her shoulders.

"I wasn't going to," Clara smiled, adjusting a dial on the TARDIS console.

"Good."

"Now... I just need one thing to complete my look," Clara said, changing the subject, her eyes flitting around the console room as she suddenly stood upright.

"Which is?" Ashildr asked as she placed her right foot up on the silver rail to settle the hem of her trousers against her left boot.

"Sunglasses, obviously," Clara looked at Ashildr and nodded. She tried to think where she had left them the previous evening.

"Sunglasses, right..." Ashildr trailed off, a niggling feeling possessing her. She inhaled sharply as she remembered, "oh no."

"Well, I can't be Lara Croft without them, can I?" she laughed lightly, deciding to search where they had been talking. The door swooshed open as she approached.

"Umm Clara..." Ashildr said as Clara disappeared out into the diner area, realising that there was going to be a problem, she stood up from the sofa to follow her. "I think-"

"Have you seen that jacket I was wearing yesterday?" Clara hollered, heading directly to the red leather booths on her left, convinced this was the location of her destroyed coat.

"It's in there but..." Ashildr hovered at the doorway, knowing Clara was out of earshot.

Clara spied her jacket on the second booth from the front. "Yes!" she said gleefully, reaching over to grab it.

"I hate to tell you this but-" Ashildr trailed off, realising Clara wasn't listening. She leant against the doorframe, waiting for Clara's reaction.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no!" Clara shouted loudly as she retrieved the pair of dilapidated sunglasses from the pocket, just now remembering them being destroyed by Delta's foot in the nuclear reactor. One of the arms was hanging on by a tiny electronic threat, both lenses were smashed and they were completely unusable. "I do not believe this." She threw the remnants on the booth table in front of her, they skittered away on the surface as she sat down on the chair.

"They're broken," Ashildr said quietly, making her way to join Clara at the table.

"You don't say," Clara said annoyed, looking up at the white panelled ceiling in frustration. "Well, that's just great."


	6. Chapter 6

Clara leant forward on to the table, resting her forehead heavily on the grey laminate surface.

"How am I..." Clara groaned resignedly, not moving, "or rather, how are we supposed to do anything remotely impressive or useful without the sonic sunglasses, one of the only things I had left of his and now they are completely unusable."

Ashildr picked up the remains and inspected them closely. There was a thin translucent wire running between the broken arm and the main frame. A spark of blue energy flew up from the lenses as her eye travelled over the splintered glass, a small puff of smoke fizzed upward, popping out both of the remaining lenses. She recoiled in shock, dropping the glasses back on the table.

"I really don't think they like me," Ashildr reflected. The sunglasses caught fire and the black plastic burnt with a blinding white light, dissolving quickly into ash on the table. "Clara..."

"What?" Clara raised her head a little, strongly fighting off a tear that was accumulating in the corner of her left eye. She creased her eyebrows as she saw a pile of charred embers in front. "Err... what's that?"

"The sunglasses," Ashildr answered, looking out at the stars twinkling in the front window behind Clara, "they just blew up when I held them."

"They blew up when you held them?" Clara repeated back, deadpan. "Brilliant," she said sarcastically, "excellent work." She felt the tear well up and then trickle down the side of her left cheek.

"I didn't do anything!" Ashildr began to defend herself, "all I did was-" Ashildr stopped suddenly, seeing something shimmering in the reducing pile of the burnt out remains of the sunglasses. "Hang on," she said, poking at the embers with her right index finger, pulling away as she realised it was too hot.

"Leave it," Clara dismissed with a wave of her left hand, "they're gone. Put them in the bin." She nodded to herself, checking the other pockets of the leather jacket. "At least we've still got the psychic paper," Clara held it between her fingers, waving it slightly, add in a lacklustre tone, "in case we need to say we work for health and safety, mystery shopping or create a paper crane swing or- or- or- pretend we are the Queens of Belgium or something." She placed it into the right rear pocket of her shorts.

"What's Belgium?" Ashildr asked, distracted as she picked up a silver fork from a cutlery pot to her left near the outer wall of the diner.

"It's a country," Clara replied, distracted as she tried not to meet Ashildr's gaze. "Near France-"

"I quite fancy being a Queen somewhere," Ashildr interrupted, raising an eyebrow, grinning. "I can be Queen of this... Belgium."

"If you want," Clara remarked, folding her arms, leaning back in the the seat, "I'd probably go for Russia, America or, I don't know, Africa if it were me, but if you want Belgium then it is all yours." Clara held out her hand briefly.

"Then I can't wait to rule my people," Ashildr replied as she prodded the prongs of the fork through the burnt remains, hooking some interweaved translucent, metallic webbing out of the ashes and holding it at eye level. "What is this?" she asked curiously.

"It's probably the inside workings from the sunglasses," Clara said blankly, "at an absolute guess."

Ashildr raised an eyebrow at Clara's tone, grabbing the webbing with her fingers and unravelling it into a long rectangular strip, an inch high and five inches wide. It was slightly moist under her fingertips and had a blueish metallic sheen under the lights.

"I said just leave it," Clara shuffled left across the seat of the booth. "Right then, I suppose we'd better go." She stood up, stretched out her arms and began walking to the console room. "At least I can top up my tan in the desert-"

"Clara!" Ashildr said at a louder volume than Clara had been expecting.

"Yes," Clara replied as she walked, "I'm right here, I was just right there, no need to shout. My ears do work-"

"No," Ashildr shook her head, "not you, the other one." She held the strip of webbing up to the light and smiled to herself.

"What other-" Clara started, "oh."

"Clara! Holo-Clara, real Clara! Both of you," Ashildr announced. "Come here!"

Holo-Clara came into focus silently a few feet behind Clara.

"Argh!" Clara exclaimed quietly to herself in shock as she turned round to find her flight attendant double a few inches in front of her face. "Please don't sneak up on me like that! Seriously!"

"How may I assist you?" Holo-Clara asked.

"You are never not going to be weird, are you?" Clara walked forward, intentionally through Holo-Clara's image, back towards Ashildr. "Right, what is it?" She folded her arms, exasperated. "We are wasting time."

"This," Ashildr held out the milky white webbing in Clara's direction.

"Eurgh," Clara said as she held the slightly greasy object between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand at arms length. "Ashildr," Clara held the bridge of her nose briefly with her left hand, "what the hell is this? I told you to throw it away."

Holo-Clara moved silently to stand on Clara's left.

Ashildr looked at Holo-Clara who returned her sentiment. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I am not compatible with telepathic technology," Holo-Clara said blankly.

"What does that mean?" Ashildr creased her eyebrows.

"Let me translate, she's not a mind reader," Clara replied. "My mum used to say that all the time-"

"No!" Ashildr exclaimed, getting out of her seat quickly, pointing to the web Clara was barely holding. "Holo-Clara, can you do something with this?"

"Please describe the action 'do something'," Holo-Clara answered, hands held in front of her, her head tilted to the right.

"Can we put this," Ashildr raised an eyebrow, "into something else?" She looked at Holo-Clara and willed her on to what she thought was quite an obvious conclusion. "You know?"

"Err," Clara said confused, "what are you two talking about?"

"It is possible to-" Holo-Clara stopped suddenly, blinking her eyes several times. "Yes. The action you are describing is possible."

"I thought so!" Ashildr grinned widely, "then let me go and get it". She grabbed the translucent webbing in her right fist and strode off towards the console room.

Clara folded her arms. "Get it?" she called at Ashildr's back. "Get what? What are you... getting?"

Holo-Clara smirked back and then evaporated into thin air.

Clara groaned loudly to herself, balling both her fists tightly before storming towards the console room to find out what Ashildr and Holo-Clara were planning.


	7. Chapter 7

"You didn't actually do the full reset," Ashildr asked Holo-Clara in a hushed voice as she appeared in the main console room, "did you?"

"No, Me," Holo-Clara replied, "I did exactly what was discussed."

"She is so predictable," Ashildr laughed quietly, placing the strip of webbing on the central control unit. "Oh and," she paused, glancing sideways, "you almost slipped up on the three hundred years thing. Can you please be careful?"

"I am incapable of lying," Holo-Clara replied. "Unless you directly instruct me to."

"You're a time machine," Ashildr answered, "three hundred years and a month are effectively the same thing so you're not really lying. Anyway," Ashildr dismissed her, whispering as Clara approached, "see you later. Oh, and have one of those red drinks I like waiting in my room for me upon my return. And," she lowered her voice even further, "wear the black dress."

"Yes, Me." Holo-Clara winked.

"So," Ashildr said loudly to Holo-Clara with the slightest of smirks as Clara passed the threshold, "do you think it will fit?"

"Do you think what will fit?" Clara asked them loudly.

"Yes, Me," Holo-Clara stood with her hands on her hips. "I am, however, unable to complete any technological work without the permission of the primary user." Holo-Clara held out her hand towards Clara. "Clara is the primary user."

"I am not giving any sort of permission," Clara stood between Ashildr and Holo-Clara, inhaling heavily, raising the volume of her voice gradually, "until you two tell me what the hell you are conspiring about!"

A silence hung in the air as Clara aimed narrow glares between them. She folded her arms, inwardly fuming at their secrecy. Holo-Clara held her usual pose, only blinking occasionally.

"No?" Clara said more aggressively than she had intended.

"I believe there is an old Earth saying about keeping one's underwear on-" Ashildr started.

"Trust me," Clara replied spikily, "my underwear is going nowhere right this moment. It is the last thing on my mind. Tell me!"

"The watch," Ashildr replied, distracted as she smoothed the webbing out. Her eyes twinkled, betraying the enjoyment she was clearly taking from irritating Clara.

"What watch?" Clara creased her eyebrows.

"This watch," Ashildr said, retrieving an object from the right pocket of her faded green skinny jeans. She positioned it on her left index finger and held it up to Clara's eye level.

"That is a beautiful watch," Clara examined what was being presented to her.

"It is, isn't it?" Ashildr looked at it smugly.

"What are you doing with something like this-" Clara paused. "Hang on... hey!" she exclaimed as she recognised it. "This was the one I tried on in the shop! The one I bought!"

"Was it?" Ashildr said in a blaise tone, clearly lying. "I don't think it was-"

"This," Clara looked blankly at Ashildr, snatching the watch away from her, "is mine! Why are you taking my things?" Clara held the watch between the fingers of her right hand, the tepid metal shimmering under the white lights. "What else have you taken?!"

"I thought it looked good," Ashildr smiled, goading her. "It brought out the colour of my eyes."

"It brought out the colour..." Clara repeated, "of your eyes? Your eyes are grey. How does a watch bring out the colour of your eyes? That is ridiculous!" She put the watch onto her left wrist and admired it.

"You weren't here," Ashildr said without missing a beat. "So I borrowed it. You can have it back-"

"Just- Just- don't take," Clara shouted, realising she was becoming unreasonable, saying at a quieter volume, "my things."

"Are you quite finished?" Ashildr folder her arms and raised an eyebrow.

Clara remained silent, aiming a glare back. "Yes," she hissed.

"Good. Anyway, I figured if this thing can make a telephone-" Ashildr started.

"I do apologise for interrupting you, Me," Holo-Clara said politely, "I am not a thing, please do not refer to me as such."

Clara laughed once to herself quietly, amusing herself after her outburst by pretending to adjust some dials.

"OK," Ashildr corrected her, "if the... TARDIS... can make a telephone instantly, I was wondering if the... TARDIS... would be able to place the insides of the sonic sunglasses into something of a similar size." She looked at Clara, willing her to make the same conclusion Holo-Clara had done minutes earlier.

"Oh my god," Clara exclaimed out loud, excitedly turning to Holo-Clara on her right, "could we put that stuff into a watch?"

Ashildr rolled her eyes behind Clara, knowing that she was going to immediately claim the idea as completely her own.

"It is possible to combine the two items," Holo-Clara explained.

"You will be able to make me," Clara grinned, "a sonic watch?"

"This is correct," Holo-Clara answered, remaining still.

"I said we needed something more feminine, Me!" Clara enthused, "I mean, who carries a sonic screwdriver? Who carries sonic sunglasses... when you can have," she paused for effect, pointing at her left wrist, "a sonic watch? Why didn't I think of this before? It's the perfect sonic device! Inconspicuous, easy to carry round, can match all my outfits, actually does something useful even without being sonic... like a smart watch, but sonic!"

"What an excellent idea!" Ashildr said sarcastically to herself.

"So what do we do?" Clara addressed her hologram. "How do I, sorry, we get a sonic watch?"

"I need permission from the primary user to complete any technological-" Holo-Clara said blankly.

"Do it!" Clara snapped quickly back. "Come on! You, err... have my permission."

"Very well, please place the two items into the TARDIS service inlet," Holo-Clara held out her right palm towards a vertical VHS shaped opening that had appeared in the smooth light grey surface of the central console.

Clara glanced towards Ashildr briefly before taking two steps to her right. She undid the clasp on the watch, removing it from her wrist and peered down the hole, noticing a flat ledge a couple of inches inside. "Here?" she pointed at the space, "this is the TARDIS service inlet?"

Holo-Clara nodded her head, her body still.

Ashildr picked up the milky white webbing and made her way to stand on Holo-Clara's right. She dropped it into the slot after leaving it dangling for a few seconds like a wriggling earthworm.

"This is actually really nice," Clara sighed before placing the watch into the compartment, "can you please try not to make it look all, you know... Gallifreyan?"

Holo-Clara's face remained blank.

"How long will it take?" Ashildr asked.

Clara watched as the inlet sealed. A cover slid under the opening from the left and then melted into the surface, as if nothing had ever been there. "It's gone," she said, impressed, running her right hand over the now non-existent slot, "how does it do that?"

"This task should be completed within the next sixty seconds, Me," Holo-Clara replied. The hologram image flickered intermittently before becoming clear again. "In answer to your question, Clara, the outlet has an element of active camouflage so that it is impossible for anyone to contamine the interior, on a molecular level it manipulates the atoms, resonating at the exact frequency-"

"Actually," Clara interrupted holding up her hand to indicate Holo-Clara to stop, "save me the science. I am far far too excited about my new accessory."

"As you wish," Holo-Clara nodded, returning to her usual position with her hands resting in front.

The TARDIS emitted a short, sharp, microwave-esque ding to indicate the task had been completed. The service inlet became visible again, opening with a hiss and a large puff of thick smoke lit with a bright white light.

Clara coughed as she momentarily struggled to breathe through the fog. She waved it away in between clearing her throat, stepping back to get some fresh air.

The smoke began to clear, leaving Ashildr and Clara staring at the object rising from the console. They both looked towards each other briefly, smiling in bemusement before turning back to see.

"Please remove the prototype from the inlet," Holo-Clara directed.  
"Now that," Clara pointed with her right index finger, her eyes wide with excitement, "you have to admit, that is cool."


	8. Chapter 8

"Well," Clara said. "At least it looks like a watch." She nodded towards the console. The watch was displayed on a grey plastic stand as if it were being displayed in a jewellery shop window. "Considering some of the appliances The Doctor produced whilst I was with him, this very encouraging."

The rose gold shimmered underneath the lights above the TARDIS console. At first inspection it appeared to be no different to when Clara had placed it into the service inlet.

Ashildr went to pick up the watch, curious as to its new features.

"Umm, excuse me," Clara said bluntly, batting Ashildr's outstretched hand away. "We've already had this debate, I think you'll find this is mine, thank you very much." The smoke completely subsided and Clara felt a small grin cover her features.

Ashildr recoiled and aimed a sideways glance towards Clara on her left.

Clara tentatively undid the clasp at the back of the watch, removed it from the grey plastic holder and held the expanded strap over her right hand. "It looks exactly the same," Clara said out loud.

The glass covering the watch face twinkled as if it had been highly polished. The light grey dial had black hands set to 10:10 alongside a second hand which ticked reassuringly precisely. The date poked through a tiny window where the number '3' should have been. Clara turned it over to look at the rear.

"You even engraved it!" Clara exclaimed, clutching it against her chest. "I have to say, I am very impressed."

"What's it engraved with?" Ashildr asked to her right. "Can I see?"

Clara held the watch in a position so that Ashildr could see whilst at the same time maintaining a firm two-handed grip to avoid Ashildr snatching it from her.

Ashildr laughed out loud as she saw two letters etched into the metal in elaborate script. "Captain Oswald. So we have Captain Oswald Time Travelling with her Sonic Watch." Her eyes glinted mischievously. "Sounds like a children's book."

"Err," Clara corrected her, "no. It's my initials." She pointed at the engraving, "C. O. Clara Oswald. That is my name. Captain Oswald's Time Travels? With her... Sonic Watch? Really? I'm supposed to be like the Doctor, not like a made up character from a fictional programme that wasn't commissioned because it had a ridiculous character like 'Time Travelling Captain Oswald and her Sonic Watch' in it!"

Ashildr calculated her next response. "Maybe it's Complete Over-reaction?" She smirked to herself.

Clara narrowed her eyes and tried to ignore Ashildr's attempts to rile her, annoyed she couldn't quickly think of a suitable retort. "I know we said we weren't going to talk about him, but," Clara paused, placing the watch around her wrist, "but if the Doctor had modified this it would look like a space watch, you know, all spacey with bits and electronics and wires coming off of it, spacey but not in a good way. This looks and feels exactly like it did when I tried it on in Tricadiamercato. How?" Clara looked at Holo-Clara.

"The Doctor was a very accomplished inventor" Holo-Clara replied. "It is my understanding the default settings were disabled to create a challenge."

"That does sound like The Doctor," Clara laughed, "please leave the default settings on then," Clara grinned, "I want all my space kit to look like it has been designed in an Italian fine arts workshop, thank you." Clara saw the face of the watch glow in an iridescent blue fashion as it settled on her skin and emitted the familiar soft whirring that sent an excited shiver up her spine.

"So how does it work then," Ashildr asked, peering over, "this Space Watch?"

"Sonic Watch," Clara corrected her.

"Your... Swatch? Does that work?" Ashildr offered, the look of pride covering her face.

"We are not calling it a Swatch," Clara replied, hovering her right index finger over the glowing blue dial.

"Why not? Sonic... Watch, Swatch! Makes perfect sense to me," Ashildr put her case forward. "Why can't I name something? Why does it always have to be you?"

"Oh calm down," Clara prepared to touch the dial, "we can't use it because-"

"Other types of watches are available, Me," Holo-Clara started.

"Exactly," Clara tried to stifle a laugh.

"Would you like me to get you one?" Holo-Clara offered.

"No," Ashildr shook her head. "Unless it's better than hers."

"So how does this work?" Clara asked, flicking her eyes between the watch and Holo-Clara.

"It has an identical interface to the sunglasses, Clara," Holo-Clara explained, remaining still, "the buttons on the side of the watch face are equivalent to those you have previously been using."

Clara touched the screen and the dial flipped to a blue disc where she could access the various settings. She found it instantly intuitive. "Oh yes," Clara grinned to herself, "I think I have found my sonic device of choice." She went to put her arm around Holo-Clara's shoulders to find it was thin air. "I have to remember she is not real..."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be Continually Overlooked?" Ashildr said sideways, moving to the other side of the console, slightly crestfallen.

Clara distractedly scrolled through the options on the watch face before realising what Ashildr had said. "See what you did there," she pointed at Ashildr quickly before putting her wrist down. "I suppose I should say thank you," she said quietly.

"What?" Ashildr asked, unable to hear what Clara had said through a collection of mumbles.

"I said," Clara folded her arms and walked around the console, "thank you. I almost made you throw that white thing away." She put her hand on Ashildr's shoulder.

"Maybe you need to listen and be less..." Ashildr paused, clearly trying to come up with something witty.

"Are you thinking of more things to go with my initials?" Clara said resignedly. "Go on then. Get it out of your system before we go."

"Continually Obnoxious," Ashildr said.

Clara folded her arms. "Yes?"

"Completely Ordinary."

"Any more?"

"Clothing Obsessed."

Clara tried not to laugh. "Oi!" She dug Ashildr in the ribs with her right elbow. "Do you mind?"

"I thought you were supposed to be the resident linguist?" Ashildr asked. "There must be more."

"Covertly Offensive," Holo-Clara offered.

"Seriously?" Clara said at her hologram. "I thought you were better than that."

"That is a good one actually," Ashildr laughed.

"Right, get your things together," Clara said, effectively ending the conversation, as she walked away down the ramp to the corridor. "We are leaving in five minutes!" Her voice echoed behind her.

"Where are you going now?" Ashildr called out to no answer.

"She's gone to her room," Holo-Clara answered.

"So, can you make me a watch?" Ashildr asked quietly. "Ideally something nicer."

"Of course," Holo-Clara nodded. "She's coming back by the way."

"Good," Ashildr nodded. "See you later."

Holo-Clara disappeared into thin air as Clara's footsteps resonated in the corridor.

"Just needed to get my actual sunglasses," Clara said with a slight grin as she walked up the ramp. "If we are going to the desert then I need to protect my retinas and look awesome." She slid on the aviator style eyewear and then threw some much cheaper brown plastic ones in Ashildr's direction. "Here, I even got some for you. You're welcome by the way."

"Thanks," Ashildr said, catching them in her left hand.

"How do I look?" Clara asked before she put her hands on the controls.

"The same as before but with sunglasses on," Ashildr replied.

Clara shook her head slightly as she creased her eyebrows. "Anyway," she paused for effect, looking over at Ashildr, "let's go and raid that tomb."


	9. Chapter 9

Clara twisted the dials on the console in front of her to check they were set to the year 1920 on Earth, plotting the exact coordinates. "1920, Valley... Of... The Kings." She paused before setting the final date. "Would you like to choose the day and the month?" she said to Ashildr, initially not looking at her.

"Sorry?" Ashildr asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"The day and the month," Clara repeated, this time looking over at her with a smile. "I have the year set for 1920, but there are three hundred and sixty-five days in it, so, I'm asking you to choose-"

"Yes, of course!" Ashildr enthused. "Sixty-seven slash forty-nine dash..." she smirked briefly, "two."

"OK," Clara realised this would be harder than she had initially anticipated. "Round here there are twelve months in a year, and between twenty-eight and thirty-one days in a month, depending on which month it is, seven days in a week and," she paused for breath, "every four years an extra day in February because they need to catch up."

"Sounds complicated," Ashildr remarked, tilting her head.

"I suppose it is," Clara let out a small laugh. "I've never really thought about it, it's always," Clara held her hand out, "just been there. Let's start with the month. Choose a number between one and twelve."

"Umm," Ashildr paused, "five."

"May, good choice," Clara nodded, twisting a knob in front of her to reflect Ashildr's decision, "the weather should be excellent and just before the school holidays, so won't be too busy."

"Aren't we going to a desert?" Ashildr asked, creasing up her features. "Aren't deserts always hot and... deserted?"

"Good point," Clara laughed, "so, now for the day... thirty days have November," she muttered to herself, "April, June, and September-"

"What are you talking about?" Ashildr said, confused, "is now really the time for some sort of poem?"

Clara held her right index finger up, "-February has twenty-eight alone, and all the rest have thirty-one."

"I didn't understand any of those words," Ashildr reiterated.

"It's a rhyme my grandmother taught me when I was little," Clara explained, feeling nostalgic, "to help me remember how many days were in each month."

"So how many days are in this... May?" Ashildr asked, her eyes curiously surveying Clara.

Clara repeated the rhyme silently to herself to figure it out. "Thirty-one."

"So, I can choose between one and thirty-one?"

"Yep," Clara nodded, tapping her fingers on the TARDIS console. "Your choice... could change the entire course of our day." She raised a one sided smile, lingering her hand over the controls, "big..." she shook her head tightly, "big responsibility."

"I choose..." Ashildr paused, "Sixteen."

"Sixteenth... of May... 1920," Clara said out loud as she twiddled the dials. "Apparently that was, or rather is a Sunday. Fun facts," Clara read from the screen, "apparently Joan of Arc was made a saint in Rome that day and a famous Spanish bullfighter fought his last fight before," she stopped, reeling off slowly, "he was gored to death."

"Not overly anxious to see that," Ashildr said out loud.

"Me either," Clara agreed, still reading from the screen, "so let's stick with Valley Of The Kings. Famous people I know born on sixteenth of May but not in that year include Pierce Brosnan, Liberace, Janet Jackson, the kid that jumps over the barrier from 'Love Actually', love that film!" she gushed. "And... Angel from Buffy The Vampire Slayer," Clara let out a laugh. "Now, that would also be some dinner party."

Ashildr aimed a blank look back at Clara.

"I like to keep this all very informative for you," Clara stated with a snigger. "So then," Clara placed her hand over the vortex manipulator handle, "this time I suggest you follow rule number one and hang on." She smirked at Ashildr. "Unless, that is, you want to have another intimate conversation with the wall and floor over there?" Clara lilted her head, "Eygpt here we come-"

"Can I do it?" Ashildr asked across.

"Can you do what?" Clara placed her hand firmly on the control and looked up towards the central pillar rising from the console, preparing to see the flashing lights.

"Can I fly it?" Ashildr raised her eyebrows. "Show me what to do, I'm a very fast learner. Please? Or can I at least pull the switch?"

"Oooh," Clara paused, watching Ashildr's expression carefully. "I don't know... that's also a very very big responsibility, so-"

"I'm sure I can do it," Ashildr nodded confidently.

Clara held her position, holding the switch.

"Please?" Ashildr said as if she was a small child, accompanied by a slight flutter of her eyelids.

"Ok," Clara gave in, "go on then." She watched as Ashildr's features lit up.

"Really?" Ashildr smiled widely.

"Think of this as a thank you for my watch," Clara pointed to her left wrist, secretly enjoying how excited Ashildr clearly was to be given a chance to merely move the vortex manipulator. "You can do the switch."

"Is this a driving lesson?" Ashildr reflected cheekily as Clara vacated the space she had been standing in.

"I guess," Clara nodded. "Now I've set all the coordinates, all you need to do," she imitated the motion of moving the switch, "is pull this down and keep holding it until we get there and then you flip it back up."

"Sounds simple enough," Ashildr reflected, taking up the steering position. She grinned as she gripped the handle, "I am five billion years old, so this is the...?"

"Vortex manipulator, and," Clara pointed at Ashildr's face with her right index finger, "don't get used to this." She held on to the console tightly, watching Ashildr like a hawk.

Ashildr took a deep breath in, smugly aiming a swift glance left to Clara and then flipped the handle down.


	10. Chapter 10

The harsh noise of the engines filled the air, the flashing lights above phased in sequence and the entire structure shuddered enough to almost catch Ashildr off balance.

"OK," Clara nodded, saying over the noise, "keep her steady!"

"How do I do that?!" Ashildr shouted.

"Don't let go, and press the flashing button to your right," Clara looked up to the central column at the lights, "that will make it a little less shaky. Sometimes the time vortex can be a little... turbulent."

Ashildr looked to her right and saw a blue button pulsing steadily, she contorted her body to allow her to depress it with her left hand and the surroundings immediately responded by reverberating less. "I'm actually doing it," she exclaimed, "flying the TARDIS!" The whooshing noise became lower in volume.

"Yes you are," Clara observed. "Now, the red switch next to the flashing button," she paused, turning to her left to tap a slow gauge with her right index fingernail, watching the black marker on the reading dial move correctly.

Ashildr twisted herself around again and flipped the red illuminated switch down.

"Never ever... ever touch that," Clara laughed casually.

Ashildr felt her face drop. "Err," she paused, disguising returning the lit-up red switch to its original position by pretending to closely inspect a small screen in front of her, "why?"

"I actually don't know," Clara tilted her head, "he never told me, all I know is that it should never ever be pressed."

"Got it," Ashildr nodded, guiltily.

"Maybe I will actually press it one day," Clara sniggered, "just to find out what it actually does. It might be for tomato ketchup for all I know, but for now, we'll leave it, so do not touch the red switch."

"OK," Ashildr held the vortex manipulator still.

"We are almost there," Clara clapped her hands together, shifting to put her right arm around Ashildr's shoulder. "Well done," she smiled, "not bad for a first go. I might let you do it again." Clara paced behind Ashildr to the opposite side of the console. "When it makes a sound like a low resonating thunk, or," she caught Ashildr's eye, "the Cloister Bell goes you flip-"

"Is that supposed to happen?" Ashildr pointed at the screen in front.

"Is what supposed to happen?" Clara asked.

"The screen has turned completely red and there's large white writing that says danger and impact imminent," Ashildr said calmly at a normal volume. "Is that Gallifreyan for something else or-"

The TARDIS shifted violently to the right as if the whole structure had crashed into another solid object. A crack appeared in the floor surface.

"No, no, no!" Clara screamed as she grabbed hold of the TARDIS console, her stomach winded from the movement. "Hold on!"

Ashildr only had a grasp of the handle of the vortex manipulator when she felt her feet come off the ground, leaving her suspended in the air.

A large dent silently appeared in the wall to Clara's right. Anything not permanently fixed down, including both sofas and the two white boards, leapt from the floor and hung in the air softly.

"What's happening?" Ashildr tried to shout, realising her voice would not make a sound. She held tightly onto the switch with both hands as her body floated in the air, surrounded by a few rogue nuts, bolts and dust dislodged from the TARDIS console.

"The gravity-," Clara mouthed, stopping when nothing emitted.

The objects continued to float around them. After a few seconds they quickly travelled horizontally through the air to smash loudly into the wall nearest the diner entrance.

Clara was thrown away from the console onto her back, landing six feet away.

Ashildr managed to hold on, her shoulder dislocating at the change in momentum, narrowly avoiding being impaled by the edge of one of the white boards. She collapsed to the ground still grasping the switch.

The entire room juddered violently. A plume of yellow sparks and a spray of smoke came from the central pillar. A klaxon, various dings, ticks and beeps echoed all around.

"What the hell did you just do?!" Clara shouted furiously, getting to her feet and instantly taking over the controls, shoving Ashildr hard out of the way.

"I don't know!" Ashildr searched for something to hold on to, losing her balance slightly as a large part of the ceiling began to collapse. She managed to hook her arm around one of the metal supports. "What's happening?"

"You had one job, Ashildr! One job!" Clara scowled as she twisted various nearby controls, pressing a button to silence each of the alarms in turn. "All you had to do was hold the handle!" She grabbed a joystick style control with her left hand, keeping a firm grip on the vortex manipulator. "I can't stop this," she hit a dial with her left fist, "come on, come on, come on!"

The curtain of smoke increased, a panel underneath the opposite side of the console dropped limply to the floor, revealing a harsh hazy white light inside.

"Please!" Clara looked up at the ceiling, "TARDIS! Bit of help here!"

Ashildr wanted to ask what was happening, but, being on the receiving end of a long glare that conveyed how angry Clara was, decided to not risk Clara's wrath. She was distracted as various parts of Holo-Clara appeared around the console room through the ensuing mess of wires, smoke and sparks surrounding her.

"You are not doing this to me," Clara said aggressively as the controls melted away from her into the console as the service inlet had, "no!"

The ceiling collapsed further, revealing wires, electric webbing and debris.

"Take cover!" Clara screamed, running away from the central pillar a few moments before it exploded with a sizeable bang. She threw herself under the seat of the nearest upturned sofa and hid underneath it. "We're going to crash!"


End file.
